Evil Wives

So I’ve noticed this trend that I don’t like. I even fear it may be an epidemic. My roommate and I are technology professionals. We both work with other such people. However, we are fresh out of college and most of our co-workers are older and married. It has become apparent that many of them are former geeks. What is sad is they still have geek desires, but all those desires go unfulfilled. The primary reason we disturbingly find out is wives.

My co-worker who sits next to me is a hardcore gamer. He has excellent video game taste, even if it isn’t as picky as mine, and his skill is outstanding. However, he is recently married. I quote “I want to play video games, but my wife doesn’t play video games. So i don’t play video games.” Wow. Just wow. My roommate reports that a coworker’s wife does not let him enjoy science fiction, so he watches it in secret. I’m not sure if it is the same wife, but there was another report of the wife throwing out manga and anime which the husband and son enjoy.

Now, I’m not a man to deny that sexual intercourse is often preferable to a video game or a sci-fi movie. However, I have hear from married folk that sex after marriage isn’t even close to the quality of pre-marital sex. And I can imagine that to be the case as the same thing over and over again can get boring. I also cannot deny the love between two people that exists or existed at one time. Very often opposites attract. Lastly I cannot deny that everyone has different taste.

But I must say, the imposition of taste upon those you love is just cruel. I mean, seriously. If you really care about someone you will want them to be happy. People are happy when they are enjoying the things they love. If you can only be happy if people only enjoy the same things as you and nothing else, then you are selfish and evil. These wives who drain their husbands of money and geekiness are no good. I will say now that I will never wed, or even go out with anyone who is averse to geekdom. Ideally I will find a hot geeky woman who enjoys all the same things as I. For all you hot single geek ladies out there, if you want to win my heart just frag me around the block and write me a love sonnet in C.

However, not all blame must be put on these evil wives. These timid husbands also bear equal blame. As they are always primarily complaining about their wives and not talking about how much they love them, I cannot imagine that the love is still strong. When people decide to get married their relationship is as strong as it ever will be. If they had the relationship they have with each other now before they were married they would have broken up. These husbands must stand up for their geekdom. Play your video games, watch your nerd movies, read your manga and play with your computer. If your wife complains tell her she’s not your mother. Tell her exactly what I said here. That if she really loved you she would want you to be happy, and enjoying harmless geekdoms makes you happy. Tell her she can choose to join you or not join you in the enjoyment of those geekdoms. Tell her not to knock what she hasn’t tried. And lastly, tell her if she doesn’t like it she can stick it where the sun don’t shine. Release the geek. If you don’t and you are unhappy you only have yourself to blame.

Why does a single geek like me care? Well, I’m beginning to imagine that there are many poor souls like this out there. People just like me who can’t escape their controlling spouses. Geeks in general are in short supply. We make up a relatively small portion of the population. Anything that increases the number of open geeks increases the number of people I have to socialize with. It also increases the power of the population. More open geeks makes a bigger voting block. But most of all I want people to be happy, and if even one person enjoys life more because they escaped their spouse of evil then hooray! Come on in guys the water’s fine.

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3 Responses to Evil Wives

  1. Funky says:

    Whilst I agree with you concept, I cant help feeling that you are saying the old adage; Dont fu*k anyone with more problems than yourself. Give your head a shake and wind your neck in and hoplefully that bitch can sort you out!

  2. Logan says:

    Dude. Video games can wreck relationships and creativity. I mean, sure, Morrowind is as awesome today as it was years ago, and better than oblivion/skyrim; and beating Ninja Gaiden a second time years later is quite satisfying….The new stuff is alright too…
    However, we true gamers tend to be hardcore gamers….hours gamers….
    There comes a time when the time is up. I think your coworker made a decision. A good decision. At least in my case, there’s no in between with gaming. If I’m going to play, I’m going to be hardcore about it. It takes up too much time as you get older. You’ll see. Watch. see what you think at about 27….you’ll KNOW what I’m talking about.

  3. anonymous says:

    There are also plenty of husbands out there who will do whatever they can to crush their wives desires. I learned years ago that if I wanted to watch anything with the fantasy side of scifi, anime, foreign movies, musicals, or documentaries without being ridiculed I’d have to do it when my husband wasn’t around. Hell, he’s even started making fun of me for still watching Dr Who. I used to play mmorpgs, but because I chose “uncool” games I would be mocked relentlessly if I let on that I was playing them. I tried playing the shooters that my husband enjoys, and got grief for not being very good at it. My interests have been pruned down to domestic chores and whatever show he tells me I *have* to watch. But then, he’ll go and site this very article when I ask him to spend a few minutes with his children. And I agree, I only have myself to blame, it’s just hard to tell that this is where things are leading when it happens so gradually.

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